Am i an intimidating person

26 Feb

'So what' is one of the greatest things you can ask yourself in this world. Nothing made the need for this article more clear than when someone recently told me that before they met me, they thought I was intimidating. Super friendly, short, always smiling, girl from a small town, me? The opportunities are abundant when you stop allowing fear to get the better of you.I’d be lying if I said that it wasn’t an absolutely miserable two hours (because it was), but they epically failed in their attempt to intimidate me. It was easy to keep pushing past their rudeness and hostility because I know that my class has value (thousands of people who went through my classes before them seemed to think so.) I know that there is value in my message of communicating with respect and kindness in the workplace (even if they clearly didn’t.) Most of all, I know that I have value as a trainer and a person. Sadly, there are many people in this world who get their jollies from intimidating other people.Whenever you’re on the wrong end of it, remember this: Stand tall and As awful as those physicians were, they didn’t kill me. I put it squarely in the rearview mirror and I refused to allow it to change how I view myself or my message going forward.

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None of the above can happen as long as we continue to listen to the wimpy voice that’s inside of all of us, saying that Hi, my name is Shola and I'm the founder of The Positivity Solution.Since that day, I’ve trained thousands more people with fantastic results.As I said earlier, that’s because I’m done giving my power away to other people and ignoring my unique value as a human being.To call them a “hostile audience” wouldn’t even begin to describe these people. If that class happened 10 years ago, I would have run out of that room in tears and considered throwing myself off of the nearest bridge.Not only were they intent on intimidating me, they were intent on making sure that I knew with every fiber of my being that I didn’t belong in the same room as them. Instead, during that class, I focused myself fully on delivering the information in the best way that I could.Case in point: A couple of years ago, I was asked to give a class to a group of “interpersonally challenged” physicians on how to effectively communicate with their nursing staff. Let’s just say that I wasn’t warmly received when I walked into the room.I was greeted with folded arms, rude comments, piercing stares, dismissive sighs, scowling, and eye-rolling that followed every word that came out of my mouth.Most importantly, the story that you’re telling yourself in your mind about how scary they are, isn’t real.Even though your insecurities are trying to convince you otherwise. As a fan, something took over me and I introduced myself to him with little more than a smile, my name and some words of appreciation for his work. Kelsey stood up, asked me about myself, introduced me to his wife and thanked me sincerely from stopping by. She was very warm and chatty and shared her story with me as to how she got started in the culinary business. Most people -- including famous people -- are cool! Sometimes, if you make the first social move and say hello, you might be eradicating two people's nerves. You are giving power to your ego when you worry/overthink. Or as Arianna Huffington calls it, the "obnoxious roommate in your head... Similarly, I introduced myself and asked a bit about her and her work. When I shared that he does come across as a little aloof he was surprised as it is the opposite of his intention.