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21 Sep

Rebecca: I wasn’t so attracted to Japanese men but now after living here for three years I would say I definitely am. Christa: I’ve always been attracted to Japanese men, even when I was young, so I did some research before I came here and I saw that generally they are interested but they’re very shy about approaching women so you may need to approach them.

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So it’s hard to get into a more deep conversation and to get to know each other.Chiara: I know some married couples and the first meeting is usually through friends or at university. Rebecca: I think quite a common thing among foreign girls who are in relationships with Japanese guys is that generally the guy has lived abroad or has some sort of not-typical Japanese perspective that makes him attracted to foreign girls.Even my boyfriend who is pretty confident had to wait for a friend of mine to set-up a dinner where we could meet before he could work up the courage to ask me out. Christa: Yeah I went on this one date and the guy spent most of the time on his phone and it was really awkward.But after they said goodbye and he messaged her saying he wanted to see her again so there’s obviously some kind of cultural dislocate there.Anthony: I’ve heard so many stories like that where people go on dates and it’s a weird, awkward situation but then later they message you as if it was the best date ever. I feel that Japanese men scare quite easily and as a foreigner you won’t know exactly what it was that freaked them out.I mean I think that people will go on lots and lots of dates, going in and out of relationships over their twenties and kind of assessing what they want before they settle down.Chiara: Hmmm there’s a lot of pressure for both sides to get married and establish at least the appearance of a stable family unit as soon as possible.She was on a date with a guy and it was going well so at some point she went to kiss him, and he just didn’t move his mouth.She even did it again just to double check and, nope…still nothing.Chiara: Or if they don’t want to talk to you then there’s just silence. I’ve noticed that if I show a little too much enthusiasm or come across as too independent, that will trigger silence.Like if I initiate wanting to meet that puts some guys off here.