Dealing with intimidating personalities

07 Feb

Pretend you are outside the event watching as a bystander.

Next, distort the images until the other person looks absurd.

Instead of starting arguments, I seek information and then I make up my mind later when they’re gone.

They might be completely wrong, but to get into an argument with someone who intimidates me won’t end well. Sometimes those people end up being good friends in the end, because I was the only person who DIDN’T argue with them. Both in university now, but when they were younger, I seemed to intimidate one to such an extent that she completely melted down when we got into an argument.

I was in grade 7, living in a dorm at a boarding school in Europe with a bunch of extremely intelligent and athletic girls my own age (my parents were staff at this school). At first I thought I could stare back, but I quickly backed down.

On the ride home from school one day, one of them decided to teach me a lesson in self-confidence. She had this Mona Lisa unreadable expression on her face and she kept staring. When I looked back she was still staring, same expression on her face. Now she knew she had this power over me, and it was making me mad.

Bushong from The Seven Dumbest Relationship Mistakes Smart People Make Of course, if the person is a psychopath or something like that then this won't always apply but considering why the person is so aggressive can help you to understand the situation you're in and possibly give you some ideas on solutions.

When he slammed the desk I became more animated in how I talked and I used my hands more when expressing myself. However it is not enough you also need to change how you feel.

Keep playing with the sounds and images until you are either laughing or at least smiling when you think of the intimidator.

At this point you have turned fear into a more resourceful emotional state. When you are new to this technique you will need to run through it several times until you get the hang of it.

I’ve met several other people over the years that intimidate me.

Usually it is because they have a sharp tongue, with quick retorts and zinging comebacks. If I have to interact with them I frame my conversations to not be in conflict with them.