Etiquette dating after death spouse

16 Jan

For some, just the mention of dating again can cause such a negative and visceral reaction -I’ve seen grievers walk out of presentations where this topic was only one small part of the conversation. Does it a feel like a sense of betrayal to the deceased?

Or of being rushed into something we’re not ready for?

It is not an easy answer, and like every relationship before, it will take work and devotion, and that may or may not be something you feel you have the energy for at this point in your life.

Dating after the loss of a spouse may never feel right, and that is okay too.

And while I think on some level we all understand this, I don’t see it put into practice as much as this general agreement should indicate.

The fact is we all come from different backgrounds.

But for a lot of people I have worked with, the thoughts of dating again come after the acute and early stages of grieving have softened and subsided a bit.

So in wanting to make this discussion inclusive to everyone, we’ll take a look at each side of this “debate” to help you figure out perhaps, where you fit.

etiquette dating after death spouse-80

Know that even entertaining the idea of dating again can be a very healthy sign of where a person is in their grief journey.

Let’s start with the questions every griever should consider before exploring a new relationship.

In the end, regardless of what side of the “debate” you are on, know that this is a very personal and very difficult decision for any griever to make.

And believe it or not, just as all of these things absolutely become part of the fabric of who we are as a person, they also contribute in every way to who we are as a griever. It’s a question we rarely ask ourselves, perhaps because we recognize that we may not always find the answer.

It’s important to remember this piece especially when we talk about dating after the loss of a spouse, as it can be all of these things that determine whether it may be right for us or not. So instead we look to the opinions of those around us and seek validation in what they think is right for us.