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26 Jan

” “Being in love” often means infatuation, romance, and high chemistry – things that are essentially selfish.This type of “love” is not a good reason to get married, but friendship is. Real love is about giving to and caring about another person’s life.To get married, you must be sure you have great communication.The reason is that marriage is nothing but problems!

Couples often mistake good chemistry for good communication.As Shaya Ostrov says in his book, The Inner Circle,"I’m watching you, hearing you, paying attention to you.I’ve put it all together and have arrived at the conclusion that you and your life mean something to me." That’s why the essence of real love is friendship In a Jewish wedding ceremony, the bride and groom are given seven blessings.When there is a disagreement of any kind, small or large, this is when you find out how good or how bad your communication is.The essence of good communication is that you can consistently reach win-win solutions to your problems and disagreements. The communication about the problem is the problem. One of the most important principles of marriage is: If it’s important to you, it’s important to me. Do you make jokes about the other person in front of others and then try to cover it by saying, “I was only joking”?With the person you’re considering marrying you must be sure you feel safe.How do you know if the two of you are emotionally open and honest?When you start thinking that he/she may be the one, make sure you ask these ten questions before you tie the knot.#1: Do We Care about Each Other as Good Friends Do?He currently runs a private practice in Beverly Hills, California specializing in adult psychotherapy, personal growth counseling, dating coaching, and marital therapy.In addition, he provides an international coaching and counseling service via telephone helping people with their personal and relationship challenges. In all of us some of the times and in some of us all of the times, there is certain amount of negativity, selfishness, withholding and, meanness.