No interest in dating anymore

18 Sep

I had one serious relationship in college, and broke it off when it started to look like we were going to change our plans to be near each other after graduation.It seemed stupid to limit ourselves when we were so young.And if that wasn't enough to sway me to stop dating for awhile, I handled it really immaturely.Like crazy texts from your ex immaturely, and I consider myself a very sane and rational human being.I have worked hard for the things I've wanted to make of myself, and being able to make snap decisions that I knew wouldn't drastically affect another person has been crucial to every little success.And as archaic as this sounds, I can't date people I don't see myself marrying. I'm just simply not attracted to people I don't see a future with, and right now I'm at a place in my life where I'm not ready to commit to anyone anyway.

This can be both hilarious and exhausting, especially when they make their opinions known: This confounds me.I’m pretty sure I’m not into girls because, with my largely female social circle, I’d have figured it out by now, right?And, well, I don’t have romantic fantasies about girls when I do daydream. But if I’m twenty-five and a guy’s never inspired stomach butterflies, then…what?I don't ever see myself dating online or using a dating app, not that there's anything bad about doing that.If it happens, it happens, and if it doesn't, well – honestly, I'd rather be alone my whole life than be with someone I wasn't in love with.Do you know of other women who only started noticing guys in their late twenties or early thirties? It’s ok if you’re still figuring out who, exactly, you are, and what you like and what turns you on.I don’t know that any of us ever totally know ourselves.But should I be finding out by wading into the dating game? And if YOU aren’t bothered by your lack of desire for anyone — or you weren’t bothered by it until your friends pointed it out and made you feel like a freak because of it — than no one else should be either. Or, it could mean you simply haven’t met anyone who turns you on. If you think your feelings could be repressed because of your traditional upbringing, you could always try talking to a therapist. I mean, that’s what dating IS, no matter what your orientation. And agreeing to get coffee with someone or see a movie or go for a walk in the park doesn’t mean you owe that person anything. ” just as he or she is, and the best way to find out if there is a match is to actually, you know, spend time with that person. That connection may not happen on a first date or a second date or a third. And I can’t tell you with any certainty that the chase for that feeling would be worth the effort for you if the effort feels too much like work (but I can tell you with certainty that, for many people, the chase for the connection most certainly IS worth the effort when they finally find it).Because the idea of spending a romantic evening with someone I only want to have good conversation with doesn’t seem right. Out of you whole letter (which was even a couple of paragraphs longer before I edited it), the line that stood out to me the most was this: “I was never particularly worried about any of this until my friends made a big deal about it.” And that just sucks, because maybe your friends mean well, but what they’re doing — making you feel like you have a problem when you don’t — is cruel. I can’t say that what you feel about dating and sex and being (or not being) attracted or interested in anyone romantically is , necessarily, but I also don’t see it as anything to worry about at all. What does your lack of romantic interest in anyone mean? Any time any of us goes out with someone, we are playing a game of “Is this a match? If you realize that it isn’t a match, you have still fulfilled your end of the bargain by giving it a shot. If it’s effort you can mostly enjoy, either because you enjoy the company of others or the effort is bringing you closer to knowing yourself or you simply really, really like getting coffee with people, then go for it.I'm a proactive person; if there was some major hole in my life, I would fill it.If I felt lonely, I would make changes to not feel lonely.