Online dating for people with disabilties

18 Oct

After tossing and turning in bed for a few nights and playing out every scenario in my head involving his potential reaction to meeting me in a wheelchair, I convinced myself that I had to tell him.When I spilled the beans, he treated me like I was a fraud and compared the situation to being catfished.Since I rely on my wheelchair only for transport and can walk independently, I don’t have that many pictures of myself in it.I live in this in-between area where my disability isn’t that severe but is still noticeable.I often ran into that awkward moment when I’d “come out” after talking to a guy for a while, and they’d act like I had just conned them.One memorable instance: My freshman year, when I matched with an NYU freshman who I chatted with online for a month—based on our messages, I felt there was a strong connection between us—before deciding to finally meet in person. In the days leading up to the date, I contemplated telling him about my disability.The opposite side of the argument is: Don’t put it there, and let them get to know you. [Then], you’ll reveal you have a disability, and they won’t care. Yes, they might get to know you and really have feelings for you, but when you reveal you have a disability, they could feel lied to.It’s just like people being dishonest with their age, weight or marital status.

online dating for people with disabilties-1

He kept asking me where my aide was (I don’t have one).

“I’d just tell people after a while and usually the conversations stopped after that,” she says.

“People wouldn't message back or would come up with some weird excuse. I felt like I had to tell them about my disability at one point simply because it's part of who I am.

I went along with it for one date, not looking anything something serious.

In the end, I got a bad feeling about it and cut him off.