What brings people to online dating

25 Nov

Bloomfield says burnout can happen when all dates start to look the same and you are not excited by the prospect anymore.“Unless you are exceptionally sociable, meeting new people can be stressful and incredibly tiring, as well as fun.“Or after your one ‘okay’ date you might get straight back to Tinder without giving someone date number two.” Elle, a 33-year-old creative from east London, says apps have replaced the days of risk-taking because of unrealistic expectations of perfection.“The stakes were higher, you had to be really sure that you liked that person and were willing to take the risk, therefore the reward was much sweeter and the risk, sometimes worth it,” she says.She really enjoyed internet dating around 15 years ago but says it has now become infiltrated by people looking for something casual or not even looking for anything at all.“If I had to pick any favourite time for dating, it was definitely the early 2000s.

“I think you have to have a thick skin and be prepared for rejection and to reject people - you're meeting someone based on their photos and their texting small talk (people have longer to compose and think through a message unlike in real life).” Despite the negative feelings some have towards dating apps and websites, there is no doubt that they are here to stay for the meantime.I know a couple that have been dating online for almost seven months, now.To the people that say internet love doesn't exist, they're WRONG.Now, there is the expectation that the date will be cancelled at short notice or won't turn up at all.“I know a lot of young men who have told me they flick through pictures on Tinder while sitting on the loo.“I was going on 2-3 dates a week and the hangover was killing me,” she jokes.But on a more serious note, her self-esteem began to be affected when she found the lack of first dates developing into seconds disheartening.“Those days are gone now that matches are instantly won, lost and unmatched and a catalogue roster of willing victims await when things don't go precisely the way one might want them to play out.This, in turn, has lowered people's ability to compromise and tolerance of anything less than perfect is now non-existent.” Barbara Bloomfield, a counsellor at Relate relationship services,says she thinks people in today’s world are yearning for a deeper connection but “the speed of superficiality of modern dating can work against that”.While tech is supposed to make our lives easier, it has actually just added another lengthy layer to the dating experience.Imogen*, 24, from London is tired of the long process of app-dating: “Keeping up with guys that you don't even know if you like yet because you haven't met them takes up so much time.