Widowers with children dating too soon

11 Oct

And so I launched myself tentatively into the online dating scene, a brave new world to me.

There are so many dating sites out there and it became obvious that there is something for all objectives.

The heart of our family had been ripped away from us, and as much as counselling helped me come to terms with the reality, the gaping hole remained.

After a while, though, I realised that eventually I would have to try to fill the gaping hole and I began to think about another aspect of my situation – being single again after 14 years of marriage. One day, my daughter asked me if I was going to get a girlfriend. After a pause, she asked with a hint of excitement: "Will we get a baby brother or sister?

Initially, I put "prefer not to say" and wondered why I got very little response.

Then a friend pointed out that it came across as cagey and a cover for cheating spouses, of which apparently there are many online.

Plenty of Fish was a marginal improvement and, like Tinder, free of charge, but from comments on women's profiles, the amount of weirdo men was ruining it for the rest of us.So you met a great guy, someone you'd like nothing more than to begin a relationship with.However, this guy is a single dad and his situation is a little bit more delicate than most.Natalie June Reilly began writing professionally in 2000 for the "Arizona Republic" and most recently with "Phoenix Woman Magazine" and "Chicken Soup for the Soul." She has a background in corporate communications and publishing.Reilly is pursuing a Bachelor of Arts in communications from Arizona State University.I didn't want to put "widowed", as it seemed the equivalent of walking into a speed dating party wearing a black veil.Eventually, I decided on "single with children" and decided to address the details of my situation after exchanging a few messages.I discovered quite quickly that I hated the word, as it emphasised what I've lost.Nevertheless, in the months after my wife's death, a grieving widower was exactly what I was, all the while trying to keep things together to be a good father.Then there were the high expectations – women writing that they were looking for a "knight in shining armour" (I'll get my sword and shield), "Mr Darcy" (I'll get my top hat and tails), "Mr Grey" (I'll get my riding crop and restraints). If they didn't want kids, then why would they take on mine?Reactions to my situation online were as varied as in real life – ranging from sympathy to avoidance, inquisitiveness and morbid curiosity. And if they did want kids, there must be plenty more eligible bachelors out there.