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Alternately, you are also perfectly welcome to give a carefully edited version of the truth (or just straight up lie): circumstances and monetary limitations mean an incredibly small wedding and limited guest-list of people who were already there; then you can have a simple post-wedding get together for select friends and family later when finances allow.

I suspect this may be easier than convoluted levels of skullduggery, especially when you can’t trust certain members of your family to not leak the information to your mother.

Now with that out of the way, let’s talk about your wedding questions. As such, you get to decide what it means, how it’s going to happen and who gets to be there.

If you want to have a simple signing of the license and call it good, then whip out the pen and get it done.

If you want to weigh the chances, you can reach out some tentative feelers to those family members you want to attend – have some conversations about your relationship, your relationship with your mother and how this affects your plans for the future and see how they respond.

If you feel secure in trusting them with more information, you can make with the actual invitations.

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